Thursday, January 24, 2013

The One That Got Away

Its been months since Ive caressed you and told you whats on my mind and I apologize sincerely for allowing them to take up so much of my time. However my dear pen and paper I am back and have many things to get off my chest. Recently out of a situation that has probably caused me more angst than happiness. 

I loved like I've never loved before and hung up my pimp hat before I even walked in that door. However, I am not bitter or even upset and here is why. I learned more about myself while in that situation than I ever have. Firstly, love is not suppose to hurt. Secondly, it wont work if you haven't taken the time to understand your partners love language. Thirdly, closely monitor the sacrifices/compromises that are being made in your relationship and who is making them. Fourth, never lose yourself, who you are and what makes you happy in plight to give someone else happiness. 

Before you get into your next relationship, grab a piece of paper and write down all of the things big and small that you want in a mate. Write down what you are willing to be patient with and teach your mate. Write down what you will not tolerate and how you intend on communicating that. Most importantly never approach a relationship out of desperation or fear of being alone. With age I am getting/have gotten familiar with the different faces/dimensions of love. I also have realized that not everybody is equipped to manage the different kinds of love that may come there way. Healthy relationships have the same basic formula. Support, understanding, forgiveness,respect, trust and priority of each others emotions. Its a package deal though, not much success can be expected if your relationship isn't all inclusive of these things. 

I have evolved/ I am evolving and it feels pretty damn good. I never thought I could exist in a world  where she no longer belonged to me. Heartbreak builds character. We can all say what kind of significant other that would be ideal for us but the truth of the matter is can you handle it and the responsibility that comes with that kind of love. Are you capable of reciprocating that love? Its a risky move because you could end up doing one of two things, seeing the value in what you have and adjusting accordingly to better reciprocate that love in a timely fashion or realizing it too late and missing out on the love of your life.

I am the the one that got away..........