Wednesday, March 12, 2014

Letter To An Ex........

Do you even understand or have the slightest fucking idea of the magnitude and depths that my heart gave into this, into us, into YOU? See I'm sitting here x time later really having to ask myself this question over and over and over again? Because in no space or time that I know exists could I see anyone in there right mind not wanting a love like this. I mean my shit was DEEP. There was nothing, NOTHING that I would have not done for you. You were my Queen!!  I'm that fucking chic that would have buried bodies for you, come home taken a shower, cook you some dinner, massage your feet, bathe you, lotion you down and then fuck the shit out of you until your satisfied. And I would have GLADLY been that bitch for you until the day I DIED!!!! Why the fuck would you mess something like this up???!!! Why the fuck could you not love me enough to be that woman I needed you to be for me. I really think you had me figured out all wrong. You think I don't know what type a chic you are???!!! Nigga, I'm that SAME chick!!!! I know how you think and I know how you roll. I would have gladly allowed you to be you, with the same understanding to allow me to be me. But here is where you fucked up!!! You forgot to take care of home!!!! You forget to make sure that no matter WHAT the fuck or WHO the fuck is going on, the WORLD knows who I am to you.I wanted you to be proud to shout from the rooftops that you fucking love me and how happy I was making you feel. All I ever wanted was for you to be as proud of having me as your woman as I was of having you as mine. I wanted you to have my fucking back and be there for me the way that I would drop the planet and be there for you. There was not one single fragment of your body that I would not willingly clean with my tongue. Everything about you was perfect to me. When I looked at you I saw the most beautiful woman in the world. Nobody could understand what I saw in you but I wasn't try to hear that shit. I didn't give a fuck what they thought cause you were my baby!! Now look what you done did!!!! Do you really think chemistry like ours can be replicated???!!! I don't have to do anything but barely whisper the word sex because I know what it does to you when you think about this pussy.........So we'll move on from that topic. Its just an unspoken understanding that the entire experience was some shit we both never experienced. I chose to embrace it and give it all that I could give and you, well you chose to be careless with it, take it for granted and destroy it.

Destroy it is exactly what you did to us and to me. I was broken, I felt betrayed, I felt played I felt like I missed out on some really great relationships, I felt rejected, I felt insecure, I felt alone and I was confused. Crazy thing is a lot of these emotions I was also feeling while IN the relationship!! So let me get this straight, I had fallen in love with a woman that was just an all around jerk to me???!!! WTF was I going through???!! Why the fuck would I ever think that was ok???!!! So then I had to take some self evaluation of  ME time. Where was my self respect? Where was my self worth? When did I transform from being my OWN biggest supporter to subscribing to the fuckry????!! 

And then one day it happened, I was delivered. I was finally given enough wiggle room to escape a little further from your hold. Far enough to see the sun and smell the roses. I was given a sneak peek flashback of what my days looked like when I was happy. I missed that person. I missed that woman. The more I got a taste of her the more it motivated me to fight for her full recovery. I was an addict for you. An addiction that was unhealthy and selfish.

I have to thank you though because the irony of this circumstance is that it was actually a test from God. He knew it was my time, he knew my blessing was around the corner and he wanted to make sure I was completely ready and deserving of her. He wanted to make sure I knew what it felt like to be absolutely head over heels, unconditionally in love with someone. He wanted to teach me patience, understanding, respect, monogamy and boundaries. He wanted me to see through the eyes of a woman in love so that when my time came I would be able to quickly see the truth. I would have the utmost respect, loyalty, understanding and dedication to my partner because I've experienced it and know the depths of that love.

I wouldn't fuck it up! I'm NOT going to fuck it up. 

"If this isn't what my forever looks like then I may as well throw in the towel. However, my God is in control of my life so whatever path he leads I follow."

Sunday, March 2, 2014

The Resurrection of Nina Niagra

I thought I reached my peak with the ones from my past but it came into fruition I was underestimating your ass...

 Let’s get it....

 You wanted this pussy so bad but to someone else this pussy I had.......given it too But....that didn't stop you.

See baby clearly you were aware of peaks and valleys in this pussy that were untamed, untouched and mismanaged.  I would give little samples, hiding the potential of the depths of these walls. Not letting you in because I didn't think you could win......the way to my organ broken, defeated, confused, disappointed, hopeless but you said....
"Fuck this shit."

Sitting in my dark chestnut vanity as I prepare for our evening. I'm nervous....
 Outfit laid out on the bed per your request:
  • Dreadlocks worn out
  • Givenchy Dahlia Noir Eau de Parfum
  • Victoria Secret RED Unlined Lace Demi Bra
  • Yellow Versace couture fitted dress
  • Michael KORS Red Sexy Peep Toe Sheepskin Suede Wedge and
  •   No panties........
I oblige.

You tell me to be ready at 5:00PM sharp or there will be consequences....*smirk* .I'm tempted to rebel but I have this feeling that TONIGHT with or without me going rogue, your intentions for me have already been set into motion....

I slip into my "uniform" and proceed to get ready...curiosity burning through my chest as my imagination wonders on your playbook for the evening.
I hear a knock at my're here....looking through the peep hole I gaze at you. All white Linen holding a beautiful bouquet of 2 dozen Yellow roses, my favorite...

As I open the door the smell of your cologne intoxicates me. You’re glowing and in that o so sexy voice asks me "baby are you ready?" I pause not knowing how to answer."Am I ready?" Am I ready? Am I ready for you? Am I ready for this? It has been quite some time and despite my usual levels of confidence and control in these situations you have me weak and feeling as though I am approaching uncharted waters. I think you sense my apprehensions and immediately disarm me with that smile. That smile....o that smile.
"Yes baby I'm ready." Finally able to respond, I grab my clutch, place my flowers in some water and close the door behind me. You grab my hand as we walk to the car, telling me o so poetically how beautiful I look and how delicious I smell. Then out of the blue you ask, "baby what's your favorite number?" Favorite number? I'm confused but answer 27. You smirk then respond with mild sarcasm, "o so you're one of those?" One of  THOSE? This woman has me officially on edge. What does that mean? Do I dare ask? You look down at your watch and mutter "It's 5:15 and 27 is big number so I need to get started." Get started???!! What on earth is she talking about?

 After about a 40 minute drive we pull up to Market Street Grill in Salt Lake City, known for housing the best seafood in town. "Reservation for two in your private dining area under the name Nina Niagra please."  I immediately start blushing. "What is she up too? Reservations under the name Nina Niagra?" I can feel her gazing at me as we wait. "Didn't' expect that one did you?" she says flirtatiously.

We enter our dining area and she pulls out my chair for me. I soak in the ambiance of the room as I sit  down. The waitress comes to our table, does her introduction and then presents us with a selection of wines. I choose and watch as she pours my glass, too nervous to dare look into the eyes of my date. It would seem as though I've just met this woman but that is not the case at all. It has been a few months but tonight seems different. Tonight I feel a precipitation of purpose and intent coming from her.

After 3 glasses of wine I can finally feel my body start to relax. I look at her intently as we speak candidly about our day. Watching her facial expressions, body language and inhaling her aroma. She must have sensed my shift because without warning I feel her soft hands slowly begin caressing my thighs. I didn't expect body jolted and generated an uncontrollable moan. At that moment our eyes locked and for a brief moment we held a non verbal conversation that forced me to clench my teeth and take a deep breath. What was this woman doing to me? I felt unexpected moisture begin to build up between my legs and knew that I needed to excuse myself to the ladies room. I needed to regroup. I needed to disavow any parts that I may or may not have played in what just happened.

 Entering the ladies room, I stopped briefly at the mirror to look at the reflection of a woman I had grown accustomed to seeing, but she wasn't there. I saw a different woman. What was happening? The door opens moments later and when I turn around, it's her. "Hey, are you o.k.?" I look at her.  My body temperature is increasing, I can hear myself breathing and my legs are weak .As she moves closer towards me I respond, " yes I am fine, just needed to use the restroom." I turn away, proceed to the nearest stall and as I begin to close the door she places her hand over mine and stops me. My feeble attempts to stop her go unnoticed as she joins me, gently placing her hand on the base of neck.  Pulling me in closely, planting small butterfly kisses all over my face. I can smell her. The moisture between my legs has now started to glide down my inner thighs. I can feel myself disappearing into a place where there is no time, no gravity no consequences. Her kisses move to my neck then to my lips. She grabs my ass and firmly pulls me towards her as we passionately interlock our tongues. I can feel my body trembling and with no hesitation she enters my pussy with her slender fingers. It is an out of body experience as I feel my legs give way. She must have known because the grip of her hands on my ass tightened as she held me up. I put my arms around her neck as she slightly lifts my left leg and proceeds to methodically massage me from the inside. This feeling is amazing and so unexpected. Our bodies move in sync.   I rock my hips to the beat of her song until I start to feel the buildup of my climax approaching. I want her deeper inside of me. Turning around in the stall, I proceed to give her my back. Perfectly arched with my legs a tad wider than shoulder length and a firm grip on the wall in preparation for impact, I look back at it and say "fuck me!" She grabs my hair and bites my neck hard enough to feel soft enough to please. I release on her. As I slowly come back from "that place", like a rainbow after a storm, I look up into her eyes and gently kiss her nose.   

 We return to our table, flushed, smelling like sex. My walk is different. I feel delivered. Calling the waitress to our table I ask for two glasses of champagne. Gazing into her eyes as the waitress pours our glass I say to her,"tonight we are celebrating." "Celebrating?" she says confused. "Yes!" "What exactly are we celebrating?"  I lift up my glass in motion to toast.....

"Tonight we are celebrating the resurrection of Nina Niagra." 

She smiles, "I would like to make a toast as well."
I look at her slyly. "O really, what exactly are we toasting?" She leans over to me and in a low, seductive inviting tone says, "toast to #1 out of 27 for the be continued."

Check Please!!!!!!!!!

I'm BACK bitches!!!!