Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Funny Shit on Craigs List...LMFAO!!!

So from time to time I like to go on craigs list and look at the "missed connections" section. The stuff on there just crack me the fuck up. I just had to share a few of the ones I saw.

Ok so look at this assholes post:


So he says he's on the "DL" but then the retard POSTS his picture...LMFAO!!

Ok, so as I pick myself off the floor from that post, check this one out:
On your bike while I jog - m4w - 28 (wpb)

You are just my type . give me a chance and you wont be disappointed. you are always on your bike and im jogging past you , everytime i try to talk to you you paddle faster. I look good so i know it aint because im ugly. im 6'3 dominican 28 athletic 210 lbs . you still go to that gym on lakeworth and jog? I wanted to come up to you then but you didnt seem to want to be bother you were too into your work out. You are beautiful and there is something about you. lets have some coffee at starbucks and you can get to know me and next time you see me just stop and say hello.

LMFAO.......uhmmmm earth to this dude. Maybe YOU think you are attractive but this chick is not into you AT ALL. Take the hint and leave her alone.......#stalker

Ok this one is just sad. Ladies, dont just check to see if your man is scoping bitches. #ijs
Club Space - m4m - 24 (Miami)

Any other closeted bi dudes go to club space this weekend? Noticed a lot of gay guys and a lot staring at me but was with my straight friends... hit me up with what u were wearing and/or pic... laterr

Ok, ok, ok...I need a break my stomach hurts from laughing this hard.....Fucking Losers I tell ya!!

From Birdman to Gucci Man: Facial Tattoos & Its Madness.......

Can someone please tell me what is going on with these ridiculous looking face tattoos? I know it has been going on for awhile but it seems since Gucci Man short bus ass put Carvel double scoops on his face, more and more retards seem to be surfacing:

Really Birdman, I mean you couldnt just say "I'm a Star." Or are you just making an easy target for the aliens in outter space.....I Just...*deep sigh*...#nevermind

Little boy got his first taste of some pussy and had to tat the bitch name on his cheek???! SMDH...Idiot

Apparently, this is Gucci man's cousin face tattoo. Well, they do say that being retarded is genetic. So we shouldn't be surprised.

Sooooooo, she's that die hard of a fan???!! I mean if she was an ugly broad (like Gucci) I wouldnt care as much becasue your shit was already fucked up...but..come on she's kinda cute. I'm hoping this is fake....

Everytime I see this one, it makes me wanna itch. What kind of conversation(s) do you think he had before he decided to do this??!! Idiot!

This is that crazy bitch Monica Leon from that show "For The Love of Ray J."...#figures

Ole psychotic, stuttering ass!!!

Lil Wayne......*deep sigh*...I can't say anything cause this is my

Ok so TOTALLY unrelated but.......WTF is this??!!
Bitch it's Apple Bottoms not Apple Belly!!

Thursday, February 17, 2011

In The News: Ghetto Moms, LiL Wayne & More......*smdh*

Ghetto News Headline of the Month:

So this crazy chick thought it would be funny to do this to her child and take a picture. When she realized she was on media takeout she goes to the police to report Media Takeout for "stealing her identity." Apparently, chica has a few warrants out for her arrest and they charged her with CHILD ENDANGERMENT. Simple bitch! What did she think? They were going to be cool with the pics and go after media takeout for publishing it?? Here is the news footage:

    Wacka Flocka Shot at....AGAIN!!!
Yeah...uhmmm so who gives a shit. But in the real news...did you know his government name is Juaquin Malphurs??!!! WTF .....He's just destined to be a retard.

Could It Be True?????!!!..
Prince FINALLY has a black girlfriend???!!

Uhmm...I guess. *shrugs*
Misty Copeland is a dancer at the American Ballet Theater in New York. She also recently joined his tour. Sounds to me miss thing is "working" her way to the top. #imnotahater

Aretha Franklin Dropped 100lbs!!!

Thank you Lord!! I was getting tired of seeing her on the stage looking like Rollie Pollie with bad weave. No matter how much you dress up a fat bitch or how much money she has or how much make- up she's wearing.She's still a fat bitch. It was just getting out of hand!!! Ya'll know I'm right...

LiL Wayne's New Boo???!!!

Nahhhhhh.....They're just smashing. Hopefully, he wrapped and strapped it becasue you KNOW dude can get a girl preganant if she just walks OVER his piss. #imjustsaying

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

The Truth About "Girlfriends" & It's Bullshit Hype....

One of my close friends called me yesterday really heartbroken about her little sister. Her sister (we’ll call her Tracy) is almost 21 years old and is very depressed at the fact that she hasn’t yet found her click of “girlfriends.” Tracy was very sheltered growing up. She sort of grew up like an only child because she and her older sister (my friend) are almost 15 years apart. I’ve known her since she was about 12 and felt that I really needed to step in and break some things down for her. As we began talking, I realized that Tracy isn’t the only one with these insecurities. There are a lot of women out there that really allow themselves to get caught up with this whole “girlfriend” hype. Well, let me drop some knowledge on you ladies real quick. I need you to pay attention because a lot of the bullshit you are dealing with right now is as a result of the baggage and fuckry brought on by some of these “girlfriends”. Whether you care to admit it or not friendships with your female friends are relationships that require some of the same cautions, expectations and work as a relationship with a man would. Firstly, ask yourself. What are some things you would never tolerate from a man? (This question is for my ladies with sense. Some of you simple bitches just don’t give a fuck and let a nigga do and say whatever comes to his mind) Disrespect, drama, cheating, uninterested, inconsistencies in what he says vs. what he does, fair weathered (your only his boo when you guys are alone) etc… As a woman who knows her worth, you would not accept anything from that list. Why would you tolerate anything less from your “girlfriend?” As far as I am concerned being my friend is just as much a privilege as being my man. I take that shit seriously and to the heart. I ask my son all the time when he comes home and tells me he just made a new friend. What has that person done to earn your friendship? What has he proved to show he is worthy of being in your circle? These things take time to build and until then he is just your “associate.” People come in your life for a reason and a season. Not everyone is meant to be a permanent fixture. Showing you a nice “moment” does not suffice. I use a few things to gauge whether or not a female has friend potential:

1. I need to know if you and I are somewhat on the same page intellectually. What type of conversations do you tend to engage in? Are they diverse or do you always want to talk about WTF Kim Kardashian had on the last time she was in Miami. Why is this important? I am all about uplifting and taking my life to the next level. I try and surround myself with people that have the same mission in mind or can contribute to it.
Lesson: Birds of a feather flock together and if you lay with dogs you rise with fleas.

2. I watch how they interact with other people. Especially if it is someone they have told me they do not care for or find gravely objectionable. One thing I can not stand is a phony bitch. Keep it real! If you don’t like someone then stand by that. I am not saying to not be cordial, because at the end of the day we are all adults. However, when I see a chick going over board with the phoniness and putting out extra over the top effort to appease the same person they loathe, my antennas go up. If you can be that two faced with them, why would I be the exception?
Lesson: Pay attention, a leopard never changes its spots.

3. At some point in your friendship, you may find yourself single. It is usually the non disclosed responsibility of your “girlfriends” to help with the hook up and meeting of your potential new man. Ladies, take note of the type of men she introduces you to. This will say loads about how this bitch REALLY thinks of you. Or how you are being perceived in your friendship.
Lesson: Perception is reality

4. Always, always, always watch a woman’s body language around your man. Gestures never lie. Check the eye contact she gives him, what she always seems to wear when he’s around. Check that phone bill ladies!! How many times does her number show up in his call log?? If you can’t trust this bitch around one of your most valued possessions then the hoe must go! This is how you catch a case, it’s a set up. The day you walk in on them or find out via other means shit was going on…heads are rolling. That’s the ultimate crossing of lines!! If a strange woman from off the street is fucking around with your man, then you put heat to your man because he is the one bonded to a commitment with you not her. However, if that other women is your “girlfriend”, then it’s on and popping for both parties.
Lesson: Check the bitch before you have to wreck the bitch

These are just a few of the things that I use when considering graduating a bitch from an “associate” to a “girlfriend.” The reality of it is as an adult, I have only 2 or three women in my life that are my ride or die. Many have auditioned for the part but not many have made the cut. I put these hoes through a process of elimination. I’m special! I know this and I don’t need anyone to confirm or justify this in my mind. Man or woman, if you are going to be in my life, you need to come correct or not come at all. I have associates that I may do things with from time to time, but nothing I pay much attention too. Ladies, reevaluate your friendships and take into consideration that some of the drama, and stresses in your life could be coming from these “friends.” Weed these hoes out and always remember “you can do badly by your damn self.”

As for my sister from another mother, Tracy. Don’t get caught up in the “girlfriends” hype. Work on the betterment of you right now. Stay in positive uplifting circles at your college. Your time will come. These ladies should not be able to impact your self esteem and sense of belonging as much as they do. In the words of comedian Katt Williams: “self esteem is the esteem of your mother fucking self bitch,you control that.”

Monday, February 14, 2011

Nina's Favorites & WTF's of The 2011 Grammy's

Eva La Rue...Don't know who she is                                       
but I'm loving the body and the dress.                               Faith Evans...Oldie but goodie.
                                                                                                   but...uhmmm whats going on??
 Bangs?? Really??
Lady Gaga...What a mother fucking entrance!! Is that a cocoon? One thing I can always say with Gaga is she gives you your monies worth EVERY TIME and genuinely has pure, raw talent. Love this bitch!

Jenna Ushkowitz.....Not a big fan
 of the show "Glee" but I'm loving this dress.
                                                                   Jada Pinkett-Smith...What more can I say.

Jennifer Hudson...Looking good bitch.
Glad to see your focused and maintaining              J-Lo....Flawless!! Love this look on her. that amazing body. Now if we could just
get your head size to agree with the rest
 of your body. #uknowiaintlying

Justin Bieber & his New girlfriend Selena Gomez..... Cute couple, but I'm waiting for him to start dating black girls. This little man has so much swagger, only a sistah can really appreciate. (nothing too ghetto please & thank you)

Justin Guarini.....Sheek look,                                                      
 but I'm still waiting for him to
disclose two pieces of information:
His real age & does he like girls.
                                                                                          Miss Keri Baby....Her name is Kerri and

                                                                                         she's so very fly oh my its a little bit scary.


Kim Kardashian....To date: The smartest and baddest whore in the industry. Hats off to this bitch! That pussy helped to build her own empire. Take notes you simple bitches, this is how you do it.
Mario Lopez.....Does he EVER age? Damn! He'll be "38" this year and doesn't look a day older than 24. (that's even if his bday is real. you know these celebs like to shave off years)
Maya.....Hey hoe where you been? 
Love the dress though..
                  Monica....Very elegant! Looking good my sistah.
 We can all see how much you have matured.
 But I still like to know you ready to cut a bitch
if needs be. #realtalk

Musiq Soulchild....Slow down fat boy!!

Nicki Minaj...A blend of Lil Kim and Lady Gaga. What can I say....make your paper boo boo.

Ricky Martin....????????

Snookie...I need this sloppy looking bitch to get it together. All that money your making and you STILL can't get rid of that pot belly?? You look pregnant! Just stop....

Tyrese & Lil Wayne.....One I would fuck but never be seen with in public, the other I would never stop fucking therefore having no need to even go out in public. I'll let you figure that one out. #riddlemethatbatman

My #1 Favorite Outfit of the evening:

Rihanna....You worked that shit honey!!

Tuesday, February 8, 2011

ASK NINA: Why Dosen't He Want To Marry Me??!!!

Q: Nina why doesn't he want to marry me?

A: Ok....well this is a very vague question and may be difficult to answer without knowing you personally. However, I still chose to address the question, because I see more and more women getting frustrated with this similar dilemma. Once again, I know my answer may not be music to the ears of some of you but,....the truth hurts. These men are not marrying you ladies because you have not given them a good enough reason to do so. Let's take a look inside the homes of the typical "millennium relationships." Man and woman have been dating on and off for X+ years. They have X+ kids together,possibly a few more from previous relationships. They live in the same household (sometimes even own a house together). They sleep in the same bed every night. They have joint accounts. She cleans the house (or not,*dirty bitch*). She cooks breakfast,lunch and dinner for him.They take all "family" trips together.She plays her "personal assistant" role very well.......You get the point right? Ladies, if we give these men ALL of this up front without any effort on there part. What's left? First and BIGGEST mistake. STOP, I repeat,STOP having babies for these men before you are married. Can accidents happen? Absolutely, but it is just as much your responsibility as it is his to ensure you are protected at all times. I understand once you are in a committed relationship, condoms may not be a regular thing. However, if you know that is the case, then it is your duty to bring reinforcements. If you're kind of slow and don't get where I am going, it's called Birth Control. I see it happening time and time again where women are having babies for these men on a promise. If you haven't heard this before, let me share something with you."A promise is a comfort to a fool."How can you expect for someone to love you when you clearly are showing you don't have much love for yourself? A man will only do and put you through what you allow. We continue to allow these men to age and devalue us. Many of us want to get out of what we know is a dead end relationship, but are "stuck" because of having multiple children for a man that filled our heads up with promises. Where the fuck do you think you are going now? X+ years later, with X+ kids, no higher education because you were too busy being mommy and your body is just a hot mess because you were too busy worrying about a man that's not even really checking for you? Here is a truth many of you women may not want to admit. MEN GET WOMEN PREGNANT AS A SECURITY BLANKET FOR THEMSELVES. Did you here what I said? They know what the fuck they are doing! Once you have a baby for a man you are forever connected to them. They are not thinking of the financial and fatherly responsibilities associated with that child. It's about knowing that they will always have a backup woman no matter what they have going on in there lives. Men know that they can be straight garbage, not doing shit with there lives and running the streets. But, if they have a baby with a woman she's going to be more tolerable of his ass for the sake of the kids. An independent woman, doing her own thing, with no ties to him won't stand for that mess longer than 3 seconds. She's out and won't even look back or second guess.

Fact: Marriage shows you are 100% committed more than anything else. A person who doesn't want to be married is thinking, however subconsciously, that it will be easier to get out of the relationship if they're not married. The doors are still open. Wanting to be married means that you have confidence that the relationship will last.

If someone doesn't want to be married, then however much they might rationalise it by saying that they don't believe in marriage etc, there is a distinct possibility that they might change their mind when they meet someone else. Point blank,you just may not be the bitch he sees spending eternity with. How many times have you witnessed baby daddy leave his old lady of X+ years and X+ kids to marry some woman he met only a year or so? This other woman has 0-1 child,independent,attractive and has her shit together? Subsequently,have you noticed that if the woman finally wears him down and he decides to get married to oblige, how short a period the relationship actually lasts after that?

Something has to give hun. This is not a stable situation. With the best will in the world, it is not possible to be deeply intimate and connected with someone when you fear the loss of the relationship on an on-going basis. If you want to get married and the person you love doesn't, then unless you can find a way not to want it any more, you have to decide whats best for you. "If you don't stand for something, you will fall for anything." Idle threats are pointless if you never back them up with action.
So, for you personally I can't say why he doesn't want to marry you. However, consider the things we discussed.
Nina Recap:
*Stop having all these damn babies.
*If he has the cow, why does he need to buy milk?
*Don't get stuck on stupid over promises.
*Mean what you say and say what you mean
*Stay flyer than a G6 at ALL times.
*You will only find someone to love you as much as you love yourself

Good Luck and keep me posted.....

Send your "Ask Nina" questions to:

Friday, February 4, 2011

Ask Nina: If My Man Isn't Fucking Me Right, Am I Wrong for Wanting a Jump Off??!!

Q: Nina,my husband has not been "laying it down" now for almost a year. I love him dearly. He is a great man, a great provider and a wonderful husband. Sex is VERY important to me. When I don't get it, I become irritated and moody. We use to be pretty active, having sex at least 3-4 times a week. It seems ever since we got married, he's always too tired or lets the girls (our twin daughters) just take over our bedroom. We hardly have any alone time. What do you think about me having someone on the side to handle that department for me?

A: Wow, this bitch is really trying to get people fucked up with this What I am about to tell you will probably cause a few fights tonight in the households of many of my readers and some of you may disagree. The expected answer is "No, stay faithful to your husband, go to counseling, communicate your needs and it will work itself out." I'm sorry but that's not going to be my answer. Here's the thing, women are often overlooked as being capable of separating sex and love. We are categorized as emotional creatures that get attached easily. While this may be true for a decent portion of us, its not the case for many. Having a what I like to call "creepy crawler dick" on the side is not always a bad idea. I call it that because you have to creep to get it. When you get it, shit be so good, you can't even walk it'll have you crawling. Here it is you have an overall great guy that makes you happy in all aspects of your life but one. Why fuck that up? Sexual frustration is a mother fucker and can be the root cause of a lot of arguments and problems in a relationship. Everything now becomes an issue. Patience is thin, tension is high, your bored and uneasy. In alot of cases as women, we even begin to lose a certain level of respect for our man. While we can never expect perfection in a relationship, I can see your quandary with this "one thing" being very important to you. A "creep crawler dick" would be able to resolve a good amount of that sexual frustration. Minimizing the "irritation and moodiness" brought on by not getting your back beat in. Now, with all of this being said let me get a few disclosures and important points out the way.

                This would not be a good idea if :
1. Your relationship as a whole is having alot of problems and this just happens to be one.
Reason: Your not looking for better sex, you are looking for a distraction. If shit isn't right at home, figure out what it is and decide what you are going to do about it. Stay & work it out or leave. Bringing in a 3rd party WOULD NOT be a good idea.
2. Sex has always been a problem in your relationship.
Reason: A "creepy crawler dick" is not meant to be a permanent arrangement. Especially not with the same person. The reality is you and your man may just not be compatible. If you are only with your man for financial gain, then that's not a relationship boo boo, that is a job. As with any job, be mindful of "conflict of interest" & unsportsmanlike conduct.
3. You know that you are one of those women who need to "make love" while you have sex.
Reason: A "creepy crawler dick" is not meant to make love to you. It is meant to fuck the shit out of you. Blow your back the fuck out! Tear that pussy in two!If your looking for a love making session then you need to stay with your man and train him better. This is how folks get feelings caught up and it gets messy.
4. You're planning on making that side dick an ex or someone from your past you know deep down inside you never got over.
Reason: That's just obvious!!

Trust me darling, nothing beats having sex with a man that can make you feel like your entire back just lifted from your spine, did a full stretch, then slowly placed itself back. It's a proven fact that couples with a healthy sex life are happier, more productive, supportive, have a stronger bond and stay together longer. However,at the end of the day this is not your "boyfriend", this is your husband. Which means "creepy crawler dick" CAN NOT be anything more than a temporary remedy. While "doing your thing" you should be actively communicating with your husband how you are feeling about the decrease in your sex life. It may even be a good idea to seek professional help. Whatever you decide to do, make sure you stay true to yourself and don't get caught up. I have a few older girlfriends that have been married 15-30 years. Monique is the oldest at 52 years old (bitch looks amazing),married 30 years. I'll leave you with what she said to me when I mentioned your question:"Relationships go through cycles. Some of those cycles can be extremely difficult to bear but you do what it takes to remain sane and make your marriage work. While stepping out may not be the conventional method, it has saved my marriage a few times over."

Good Luck & keep me posted.....