Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Poetic Justice: Stop the Bitchassnes......

So you said I was coming on to you, faggot ass bitch
Run and tell dat like a sissy ass snitch
I only wanted to fuck and even that you couldn't do right
So I dismissed your sorry ass and told you goodnight
Did you tell them how you was sweating me and trying to be my man
How you paid for all my shit and that I had you on demand
Always fronting like you don't eat pussy and that you'll never taste
but knowing damn well how much I sat all on that face
Should I show them your messages so they can see how much you text me
Or that the reason you wear hats is cause I said that you look sexy
To be quite honest I don't know where this shit came from
We been cool for mad long so when I heard my ass went numb

You's a bitch ass nigga and to the world you've officially shown
whats so fucking hilarious is there saying they've already known
The same shit you running from was word on the street from the start
so don't blame that on me its your "tendencies" that set you apart
I'm sitting here laughing that you said I was pushing up on you
Nigga you would be so lucky, don't forget who the fuck I am boo

I own a house in four countries my daddy has his own zip code
I'm a trust fund baby, my monthly stacks is more than your whole load
While you were taking FCATs I was out making millions
Now that I have some time on my hands its back to making billions

So the last laugh is mine
You were never worth my time
Like Mary J says nigga I'm doing "just fine"

Monday, August 30, 2010

Lesbian Evolution!!!????!!!

I get the whole, "I'm gay and I like girls" thing. After all, I do dabble in a little pussy myself. What I just can not seem to understand is this whole gender crisis with women trying to look like men. I'm not referring to the transgendered population. (shit that's another topic itself) I am referring to regular women with vaginas, walking around looking and acting like hood niggas. Unfortunately, I see this foolishness in the black gay community mostly. As with everything else you always have your handful of white folks that "wanna be black." There disillusioned interpretation of "being black" is adopted from the worst kind of black folks. We call  them "wiggas" (white niggas). Anyway, I went to a lesbian club a few months back and was so turned off, I left within the hour. Where were the beautiful lesbian women we see on TV? Here is what I saw. Mini Trick Daddy, Lil Wayne, Rick Ross and T-pain lookalikes running around. They were fat, obnoxious, smelled bad and looked fucking ridiculous. The "feminine" women didn't look any better. Everyone with the exception of 8 people were morbidly obese. They had tattoos of there 4 and five kids on their necks and arms. They were sloppy, had these horrid looking lace front weaves, just a fucking eye soar if you ask me. I was confused!! Whats going on? Is this what the young African American gay community have become? I had to call my best friend and interview her. She is a 29 year old lesbian woman living in the south and I just had to pick her brain on whats going on with her community. We talked for about 3 hours and it started to all make sense to me. So here is Nina's interpretation of WTF: Whats happening right before our eyes is "Lesbian Evolution." The younger generation of women and some of these old bitches have allowed men to run them to the ground. They have become used goods at a very young age. Allowing these men to abuse and destroy them. More and more we  see these young girls 21, 23 years old with multiple children. Most of there bodies not being able to bounce back from all of these pregnancies on top of poor eating habits. So here is there situation: 3-4 kids, no education, stress of life trying to support them, still dealing with the fucked up niggas, bodies deteriorating and broke all before they reach 25. Now, if your a good man looking for a woman to marry and take home to mom. Are you going to want that? Of course not! These bitches are looking raggedy as all hell, can't hold a decent conversation due to a lack of education, old in the face and walking around with these fucked up figures. A good dude is not going to waste his time on that and the baby daddies continue to use them because they know they can't do better. It becomes a vicious cycle. Men see them as an easy fuck and keep it moving. Breaking there hearts and there spirits. This invoked the genesis of "Lesbian Evolution." We'll call this character Monique. Monique is a young woman that at an early age realized she prefers being with women. It is a hard reality coming out of the closet and embracing who you are. Monique is in desperate need for companionship. Most of her friends are guys, she observes there mannerisms and the things they do to get women. Problem is she has no penis. (well at least not one pumping blood and squirting semen) Monique has a crush on "straight Stacey." Stacey is all about her dude and doing everything to make him happy. Fast forward 4 years. Stacey now has 3 kids, 2 from her "dude" and a stray one from an encounter in between fights with baby daddy #1. At the tender age of 23, she looks like she is 43. Every attempt of a relationship fails because the men have no respect for her.  They know she cant do much better so they treat her like shit. Another year and out pops another baby. During this time Monique was still around, being a good friend for Stacey. Being supportive and even giving her money when she needed. All with hopes that one day she could get a chance to be with her. Monique slowly starts to adapt her dress and swagger to the kind of guys Stacey tends to be attracted to. She remains a constant in her life, always showering her with nice things and playing the role of "gentleman." Eventually, Staceys frustrations with trying to find happiness or companionship with a man gets the best of her. Monique has been that constant in her life as well as her kids, something no man has ever done for her.  It is here Monique is able to hone in on Staceys moments of vulnerability and seal the deal. So let us recap. What was the formula for Monique getting the girl? Shower the bitch with nice shit, help take care of her kids and start looking more like the niggas she fucks with. There you have it....the evolution of Lesbians. Stacey may not be comfortable with the idea of licking some pussy. So Monique makes it as comfortable for her as possible. Wraps up her breast, makes her strap on a permanent accessory and fucks Stacey  how she wants it. Or better yet, how she's use to getting it. With time, Stacey will become more comfortable with Moniques female parts. Now all you have to do is multiple this story by thousands and there you have it. Nina's explanation and understanding of the "Lesbian Evolution."

Friday, August 27, 2010

Depreciation of the Pussy.. WTF???????

We are all very well aware of the state of the economy, its pretty fucked up right now! People losing jobs, companies, businesses, wall street is a hot mess, gas prices are as high as giraffe pussy. For us people in the real estate industry....need I say more. One of the main reasons I moved down south 10 years ago was because of the booming real estate industry. I was able to buy beautiful condos on golf courses for under $70,000 and two and three acres of land for five and six grand!! It was lovely! It was even lovelier when it became a sellers market and I was able to flip $60,000 investments into $200,000 deals! Things were going great. Then the market crashed and the depreciation of every damn thing soon followed. As I sat talking to a girlfriend of mine today about my most recent purchase and the depreciation of its value, I couldn't help but think that pussy has depreciated as well!! So here's the scenario, if I buy my house for $260,000 and three years later my neighbor sells her shit for $140,000 I'm stuck like chuck, I can't move. My only options are to stay put, do a short sale, or sell the shit cut my losses and owe the bank! Depreciation like a motherfucker!! It is what it is, you can't cry over spoiled milk but can someone please tell me why pussy has been affected by this recession? Why has pussy depreciated in value? These basic bitches out here are giving away our shit for less than its worth and being that its a buyers market, them motherfuckers aka the men, women or whatever your pleasure feel empowered to start bargaining on your shit! I met this guy about a month ago, first of all I knew up front it was about getting mine the nigga was short and I'm 5'7 without heels with heels bucking 5'11 so I need at least 6'.. The first date was to Grand Luxe Cafe, I was a lady ordered as such but I knew dude was digging me because he was talking about wifing me up already. Second date he took me to a restaurant on the beach with a live band and the food was off the chain! I'm a seafood lover so when I saw the menu I said fuck the cost I'm going all out! Now when I say all out the bill was  about $300. I guess this nigga must've felt because of that meal it was bargaining time for pussy. Next day my phone was blowing up to hang out again and I was gung ho! I asked where will we be dining this time? Dude says I'm thinking about something a little bit more intimate, how about you come by, cook something to eat and discuss having you for dessert? WTF??? So a $300 meal is what this bitch ass nigga think MY pussy is worth?? Did he really think that 2 dates and a meal that I could have paid for myself was going to make me jump on his dick? By now I'm sure you know Nina's a freak and my sex drive is on a whole other level but this shit right here was just downright disrespectful! I gassed him up so much that night, had him thinking I'd be on my way! Got the directions and all.. Last conversation we had said I was hopping in the shower and would be right over. As soon as we hung up I went in my phone, blocked all of his numbers hit save and that was the end of that! Ladies I blame YOU for this! A nigga pays for your mani/pedi and for your hair to be done, you sucking his dick! God forbid he takes you on a shopping spree, you fucking! How can I profit on MY house when you're across the street selling it for half, with free upgrades, and sometimes for free?? YOU depreciated our shit!! Yes I said it! I blame you! Nails, hair and an outfit is sufficient enough for your time, not the pussy! Its depressing, disappointing and a downright shame! 85% if not more of the men in jail right now are probably there because of pussy. You see how lethal our shit is??? You know why niggas sell drugs to get that money, for pussy! You know why niggas break in people house and steal their shit, for pussy! You know why a nigga will run up on another and shoot him in his head, for pussy! You know why a nigga get caught up in check fraud, trying to buy some pussy!! You know why niggas getting shit repo'ed and in debt all the time, trying to keep up with the next nigga to get some better pussy! When a nigga gets up in the morning he takes a piss, washes his face, figures out his breakfast....while all this is going on in his head he is thinking how the hell am I going to get some pussy today? Its the reason for their existence, its why they breathe! Its what motivates them! Ladies we KNOW this, I KNOW you know this! What I can't understand is with this level of empowerment bitches still giving out their shit for less than its worth! So when a nigga hollers at me and asks me what I want and I say a down payment on my house, it makes sense why a nigga would run because as bad a bitch as I am, there's another just as bad if not badder that's gonna give it up for a damn pedicure! All I'm saying is this ladies, there's no need for pussy to be in recession with everything else! Stop depreciating our shit! Step your game up! Know your value! Embrace your worth! The next time your tempted to give your shit up for less than you should be, remember Nina's words...."STOP DEPRECIATING THE PUSSY!!"

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Poetic Justice: My pussy is recruiting, so be all you can be.......

I have a strong suspicion
That my pussy's on a mission
It's not me I swear
To be honest I don't care
but I'm feeling she may have some plans
that I might possibly interfere

I'm no MacGyver and I don't know any mind readers
but I'm really damn close to calling that white boy from cheaters
She can never keep still and her outfits are scantily clad
This really upsets me cause a good relationship we once had

I'm losing my pussy due to the pressures of "the man"
Struggling to keep up with her unrealistic demands
I'm trying not to give in but shes putting up a fight
the struggle gets harder every day and every night

So I've made a decision to support my dear friend
it's the right thing to do if we're ever going to mend
So that's why I called you because I really know you care
She's advised me that you have about 10 inches to spare

Make yourself comfortable in you my pussy trusts
She wants you to eat first, take your time no need to rush
We can't thank you enough for lending a helping hand
My pussy has these needs I know only you can understand

Enough of my chatter please come on in
You have alot of work to do so let us begin

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Poetic Justice: Shut the fuck up...

I can't understand
how you call yourself a man
your a bitch ass nigga
so I slap you with my hand
Like they say on the streets
if you snitch you get a stitch
So since your a gossiping nigga
I'm a beat your ass like a bitch
Now you caught up in this mess
my patience daily you must test
let me quickly warn you then I promise to digress
I can hide mad shit in these size 36D breasts

Monday, August 23, 2010

Nina Interview: His first time.......

One of the best parts about being a writer, is you get to meet and know different types of people, with all different views on life and are usually not afraid to be open and expressive with it.  When I did my post on bisexuality, I received alot of emails from men and women giving me there opinions on the article, as well as there opinions on the lifestyle. One young man hit me up on BBM asking if I had anymore pictures he could see. I'm not into that cyber shit, especially with strangers. So my response was,"look buddy its not that kind of party. I appreciate the love and I'm glad you enjoy my blog, but I don't get down like that." His response had me floored. He said and I quote, "I have a girlfriend right now plus I'm bisexual, so I think I have quite enough on my plate already." Holy Shit!! I just had to interview this nigga. So we chatted on BBM for a little bit and he tells me he's about to roll a joint, when he's done I could call him to talk. I felt like a customer standing outside the Apple store waiting for the new iPhone. I couldn't wait to chat with him. (we'll call him Jermaine) Jermaine is 25 years old and for the first 9 years of his life grew up in Dubai. (yes India mother fucker) His family decided to leave India in search of a better life and relocated to New York.  Jermaine said he has always been very liberal. He was never molested or exposed to sexually explicit things as a young kid. I asked him about his first experience and how it happened.  Where he was living there was a nude beach, he always wanted to go but never felt comfortable asking his boys to come with him. His intentions were to see some naked women and enjoy the sexual aura that's usually brought to those places. During one of his visits he met a lady and her boyfriend. They spoke for awhile and became acquaintances. The couple invited him over to there house for some drinks and smoke. Throughout the evening he said the topic of sex was sprinkled in there conversations. The girlfriend made mention of a threesome and asked Jermaine if he had ever  had one.  She went even further to say that she was very attracted to him and wanted to have a threesome with him and her boyfriend. Jermaine being open to most things sexually was excited with the idea and decided to try. During the first threesome things went as they usually do. Most of the attention went towards the girl. A few weeks later he met up with the couple again and they decided to have another romping session. During this session Jermaine said he noticed the positioning of the bodies were a little different. While he was eating the girls pussy he felt someones hands on his dick. Initially, he thought it was the girl but had some doubts  based on the firmness of the grip. He kept eating the girls pussy until he suddenly felt a mouth over his dick. He knew immediately that it wasn't the girl because  she was sitting on his face with her back towards his dick. I asked him what went through his mind at that moment. He said his biggest concern was wondering who would find out. Do these people associate with his people to ever have this encounter leak?  I was confused by that statement and expressed myself as such. I said to him, "Jermaine, this is the gay moment most niggas talk about with there boys that if it ever happened they would fuck a nigga up, and your only concern was who would find out?" He said. yeah it was weird at first but then he got into it and performed oral sex on the guy as well. They didn't have full blown intercourse during this session, but you know I asked right? How the fuck did THAT go down? Usually when he goes over they they smoke, drink and talk shit together before they start fucking. One of the times he was over there they started talking about anal sex. The guy asked about it and wondered if he would be open to it. Initially, Jermaine said he declined but after some more drinks he slipped into. Blew my fucking mind!!! Ever since then Jermaine has had a few experiences that involved anal and oral sex with men. He said he even had 1:1 sessions with the couple.  I wanted to know what was his attraction and what does his current girlfriend think about it.  Jermaine's bisexuality is more of an oral fixation. He thoroughly enjoys the act of cunnilingus and fellatio. His girlfriend doesn't know and he said he has no intentions on telling her. He feels like somethings are better left unsaid. While, I can understand where he is coming from, I think he should be upfront with his choices. Especially if this is a woman you see as potential for wifey. She needs to know what she is getting into so that she can make a conscious decision to stay and bear or leave. Also, he shouldn't have to pretend to be something he is not. When you get married and things start to get monotonous your going to have these desires and cheat on your wife. It is so much easier for a man to cheat with another man because the suspicion is not there and the emotions are not there.  Its easier to hide and less effort for the guy. I asked Jermaine where he sees himself relationship wise and he was torn between being with a woman or living with a couple. He doesn't have any emotional attachment to men, just women. He said he would never date a man. He sees sex as just an act and doesn't feel it differentiates between man or woman.  We ended our interview  leaving him with this thought........Are you willing to sacrifice a physical want/need for an emotional want/need?  Which one is the  need and the want, the Physical or the emotional?

 Speaking with Jermaine was extremely exciting, I can definitely see more Nina interviews in the future.

Thanks Jermaine....*wink*

Saturday, August 21, 2010

Keeping it on the "Down Low"

I went out last weekend with some gay guy friends of mine to a male strip club for men. It was so much fun and the "girls" do a great job at keeping me entertained.. Two things stuck out to me during my eventful evening. First, more than 50% of the boy dancers do not date men. Rather, they only dance at gay clubs because they make much more money. Secondly, the "DL" epidemic amongst our black men. I was amazed by how many men were in there with their wedding bands on. They were in groups, which means that these mens wives may know each other. They have no idea that there husbands are out at nights slapping on other mens asses, getting champagne rooms for all things imaginable and possibly fucking each other. Are we as women aware of just how detrimental this epidemic is to us? J.L King said in his book. "On the down low," that most "DL" men do not have protected sex because this would mean, they are "partially admitting to the fact that they are aware and fully conscious of the decision being made to have sex with a man."(crazy right?) This is one of the reasons HIV and AIDS have become so prominent amongst African American women. I am curious to know if these women at home do not see the signs? Do the husbands do that good of a job in hiding their secret? Or, do the wives just do a better job at ignoring it?

Friday, August 20, 2010

Mixing Business with Pleasure: Is it ever worth it??

Those of us that work a 9-5 can admit to spending most of our time  with our co-workers. There are 168 hours in the week. We sleep an average of 56 hours and work approximately 40-60 hours. This interaction happens week after week, month after month, year after year. People that were at one point a pain in the ass, slowly become tolerable. The fucked up tooth "John" has that was always unbearable to look at, doesn't seem to look so bad anymore. "Amy's" flat ass doesn't bother you as much. "Paul's" high pitch laugh now seems kind of cute. It is what it is, people start to grow on you.  I dare ask, how many of you have actually crossed the line of mixing business with pleasure? I pride myself on keeping it 100 at all times. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you right? When I meet someone, I am very upfront with my intentions. I put my disclosures on the table to avoid confusion, hurt feelings or overstepping of boundaries. There is a guy I worked with that I was VERY attracted to. He was my usual, tall, dark and very handsome. I toiled for a good year on whether I should bless this little boy with some pussy. I had some concerns. Would he be able to fuck and walk away? What if he falls in love? What if he shows out at work because he can't get his own way? Some of you are thinking, "fall in love? Who does this bitch think she is?" Trust me, I say it because I live it. Niggas play and pretend that they can handle a woman that's just into an arrangement for her own personal pleasures. I'm here to tell you many of them can not. Even the married ones try to demand a receipt for the pussy. Anyway, back to my little friend. Over the year time span, we would flirt, talk shit, go out for lunch and have occasional late night conversations. I checked out his package every chance I got to ensure he had the proper tools for the job. I threw out little test questions like:"What positions with the exception of doggy style gets you in the pussy the deepest?" "What part of a womans pussy do you apply the most pressure with your tongue?" The kind of questions you can use to gauge his sexual intuitiveness. Finally, the day came. I revisited our understanding that this was just a physical thing, big mistake!!!! Should I start with what went wrong or what went worse? I should have been suspicious when he was getting aggressive with his probing questions around my whereabouts. This mutherfucker became my self proclaimed boyfriend.  He thought that just because the sex was okay he shut it down.  Whenever he saw me and approached me at work I'm getting WTF looks. One day he attempts to have an intimate moment in the damn break room, I lost it!  That night I called him and dropped it raw. "Nigga, I'm not your girl and you are not my man.  We fucked once and while it was okay it was not worth a repeat.  Don't call my fucking phone, don't speak to or approach me at work, pretend you don't fucking know me!!" What was his response? "Come on Nina you can't tell me you don't have any feelings for me?" *Deep damn sigh*

Play where I eat again?

Of course I will, I'm Nina Niagra remember.......wink!

Thursday, August 19, 2010


This pre-booty call agreement (hereinafter referred to as the "Agreement") is entered into on the _____ day

of __________, 2010, by ________________, between ____________ and ________


1. No sleeping over -- unless it is very good and we need to repeat it in the morning.
2. No meeting in public except for dinner or drinks before the events of the evening.
3. No calls before 9 PM -- we don't have shit to talk about.
4. None of that "lovemaking" shit -- only mind-blowing sex allowed.
5. No emotional discussions -- Ex.: Where are we heading with this? Do you love me? The answer is no,
so don't ask.
6. No plans made in advance -- that is why you are called the "backup," unless you are from out-oftown,
then it's only a one-time advanced arrangement.
7. All gifts excepted -- money is always good.
8. No baby talk -- however, dirty talk is encouraged.
9. No asking for comparisons with former lovers -- it's really none of your damn business.
10. No calling each other "friends with privileges" -- we are not friends, just sex buddies.
11. Calling out the wrong name during sex is OK -- don't be offended.
12. No extra clothing -- I don't want your ass leaving anything behind when you leave.
13. No falling asleep right after sex -- it's over, so get your ass up and go home.
14. Don't be offended if I don't ask if you enjoyed it -- I don't care.
15. You cannot borrow my car for any reason.
16. If anyone asks who you are, the standard response will be: "My roommate's boylfriend"
17. Doggie style preferred -- just hit it hard and right or get the hell out!
18. Reason for doggie style: the less eye contact the better. I don't want to look at you, just fuck me.
19. We hook up absolutely whenever the mood strikes ME -- so don't keep calling.
20. The most important one -- no condoms, no fucking. Carry your ass home.
21. Bring your own drink -- I am not your liquor store.
22. No phone use, please -- don't want anyone calling back looking for your ass.

The aforementioned rules may only be altered by the holder of the agreement. If the other party
attempts to change or alter any terms of this Agreement, it will automatically become null and void
and you will then be removed from the BOOTY CALL LIST and deleted from phone memory and
email list. BLOCKED from all communications until your silly ass understands the rules.

Participating Party Signature_________________Date:________________
Participating Party Signature___________________Date:________________

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Bisexuality: Truth or Transition?

I find myself tossed with this topic. As a "clinically categorized" bisexual woman myself,  I know it's possible to be attracted to both sexes as well as have relationships with them. However, at the end of the day even I have my preference.  The real question is does my preference become influenced by the pressures and expectations of society?  Is it possible that just as people are color blind when they are attracted to someone can one also be blind to their sex? Choosing sides came with a great level of responsibility for me.  I felt obligated to try and change the perception of African American lesbians in this country.  I was in an amazing relationship with a woman for almost nine years she was my best friend, partner, confidant, lover, a parent to my child, my life, my world and my everything.  We were the envy of "the community" as it was obvious to the outside world how much we loved each other and how close to perfection what we had was.  During these nine years I was immersed in the gay lifestyle and had little connection with the straight world.  I went to the clubs, did the pride walks, joined the committees at work and represented the rainbow to the fullest.  I was a proud "labia licker" and loved my family.  The last few years of that relationship became very painful for me, not because I didn't love my woman, quite the opposite, I was in love with her so much that it pained my heart to know that I couldn't give her the forever that I had promised.  I missed being with men terribly it caused me to step out of my relationship and I saw even more damage to come.  I love her too much to put her through that, she deserved better so I chose to end it.  I will forever have a special place in my heart and have closed shop when it comes to dating women. Now fucking them on the other hand will always be a welcoming adventure.  So does that make me bisexual? I truly believe that there are individuals who have no inhibitions when it comes to sexual pleasure and like most things in this country we are forced to categorize and label before we can make sense of something or accept it. 

 I leave you with this: Studies have shown that bisexuality is merely a transitional identity to a subsequent gay or lesbian identity.  So is bisexuality a place of purgatory for homosexuals???

I wonder.........

Monday, August 16, 2010

Why do men cheat?.......Bitch it's your fault.

Yes I said it, it's your fault.

When a woman is courting a man, she puts her "best foot forward." Keeps the body right, understanding of his imperfections, sex on time, not too clingy, attentive to his needs, keeps herself clean, a pleasure to be around, allows him time with his boys, motivating, supportive, submissive (within reason) and unconditional with her love. As soon as any form of commitment is made, whether it be moving in together or marriage. Shit changes! Its like a fucking bait and switch. Why do we do this ladies? We turn into nagging, overweight, unsuppportive, demotivating bitches. We go from sex every other day to sex only on special occasions. What the hell is that all about? We are no longer the cheerleaders for our men. We stifle and dismiss there small accomplishments and efforts. We go from expecting nothing to demanding the world. We allow our friends to tell us how our relationships should be run when they cant even keep a man themselves. Or even worse, trying to fuck yours. They go from being our most prized possession to an inconvenience. Now, I fully understand that its not always going to be like a honeymoon. However, whats so wrong in trying? The question shouldn't be "why men cheat." It should be "why do women lose interest?" Our men fall in love with the full package that we present to them during that courtship period. It's with that material they make the decision to spend the rest of their lives with us. Will changes occur? Absolutely, but to what extent? These extremes that alot of us go through is just not acceptable. The key word here is accountability. Not many women are willing to admit there faults and contributors to the breakdown of the relationship. I hear women often complain, "I work, take care of the kids and keep up my house, what the hell does he expect? How can I workout and be fucking all the time plus tolerate his bullshit?" First, of all you don't get a medal for shit your suppose to do. Its your duty and should also be your pride to maintain your family. That's what you signed up for! Then you have the audacity to put on victim glasses when your man finds the bitch that will "put up with his bull shit?" Now, there is always an exception to the rule. As Foxyayanna said today in our Blackberry chat, (pin#225B080F) "men are just greedy and we let them." Definitely true in some cases. I do not condone nor am I against cheating but as a mistress once myself....I get it.
Step up your game ladies, remove your victim glasses and don't just look at your mans faults. Consider the possible faults of the entire relationship and the part you play. Rychie Rich said it best today in our chat "keep things interesting."
So, I'll say it again. Yes bitch, its your fault.

Sunday, August 15, 2010

The Romping Rules of a Threesome

One of the things I have aways said when it comes to 3somes is, always set the rules with your man and the bitch before it happens. Limit 1:1 interactions with your man and the third party. In other words, you keep her number and be the only one to communicate with her. Choose a neutral person, someone you are both ok with never seeing again. Don't let her feel comfortable with showing up at your house unannounced. If possible, leave that type of activity outside your matrimonial space. Treat it like your social security number. Keep your shit secure and limit its exposure. The more people that know about the arrangement, the more the third party feels a sense of entitlement and place in your lives. She has no place in your lives, just a small place in a moment. Lastly, no kissing on your man from the third party. Kissing is a very intimate transaction that should be shared with you and him only. I know this may sound biased but you and the bitch can kiss. Its more natural for women to share those sensual moments with each other and it not cross the emotional boundaries of the arrangement. She of course is more than welcomed to suck, lick and swallow every other part of your mans body. True story: Some associates of mine decided to participate in a 3some. We'll call then Jack, Jane and Jill. Jack and Jill were married for about five years before they eventually agreed to venture out. First mistake they made was choosing someone they both worked with. Jane and Jill became very friendly with each other. Having sleepovers,vacation, keys to each others homes and unlimited, unchaperoned and uncensored access to Jack. One day behind Jacks back and against there "rules" Jane and Jill slept together without Jack. Jack did a great job recruiting sponsors for his pity party and made Jane and Jill feel horribly guilty. Jill decided to be "fair" and allow Jack to sleep with Jane one time without her. Well, as I am sure you probably already figured out. That one time with permission, led to several more times w/out permission. How do you think this story ended? You sure you ready for this? Jack and Jane started dating, he moved in with her; divorced Jill, got engaged to Jane; Jill had a nervous breakdown; quit her job and is now strung out someplace in Miami.
 Lesson for today, don't trust a mother fucking soul.

Saturday, August 14, 2010

Poetic Justice: My Public Service Announcement....

Have you ever had a man that made you feel right.
Didn’t just say he loved you but shows it day and night.
Pays your bills on time and keeps your cash flow looking tight
Holds great conversation cause the mother fuckers brite
When it comes to the sex he has the blueprint for your body
Shit is so damn good it inspires you to be naughty
Can throw down in the kitchen and make a mean seafood platter
And if you don’t feel like cooking he says “baby it doesn’t matter”
He tells you that your sexy even though you’re feeling bloated
His mother you thank daily because a fine man she has molded.

If this describes your dude then make sure you’re never slippin
Because if I get around him out your arms I intend on rippin
All forms of communication with your man I’ll be clippin
And if you think your competition then bitch you fucking trippin….

Friday, August 13, 2010

Based on a true story:What's your "hoe threshold?"

I'm sitting here having a conversation with a girlfriend of mine and we started discussing how times are hard and a few extra dollars in our pockets would be nice. Now my friend is a gorgeous woman with an amazing body. She's smart, independent and pleasant to be around. So, I posed the question. "What's your hoe threshold?" How much money could get your attention and allow you to consider selling the goodies. I'm sure your thinking my friend looked at me like I was crazy but if you know me well you're never shocked by what comes out of my mouth. Her initial response was, "It depends on who's asking." Then she mentioned it depended on the situation as well. For example, if I'm on a yacht with some pretty wealthy men and am approached, That mother fuckers going to pay! We'll start at around 1k and it'll fluctuate based on how freaky he wants to get. True story: I used to work as a club waitress for a well known strip club. One evening a mixed couple walked in and sat in my area. The woman was a very attractive sistah from Europe. She modeled over there. The guy was an older white guy that lived in one of the wealthy neighborhoods not too far from the club. He was her "boyfriend." Throughout the evening this woman, (we'll call her Monica) was very flirtatious. Towards the end of the evening she calls me over to her, puts a $100 bill in my hand and says " There's 5 more like that for me if you have sex with me. I think your breathtakingly beautiful and I want us to taste each other." I was fucking floored and flattered at the same time. This had never happened to me. The woman was no doubt a bad bitch so why the payment? She then made it very clear its just for sex and she won't ever call me when its done and doesn't want me to call her. I then asked, "What's your boyfriends part in this?" She said, Nothing but to watch and give you the money when we're done." I called a good friend of mine to get her opinion and she said go for it, be careful, keep protection and give her the address as soon as I arrived. When I arrived at this beautiful home I took a quick pull from my spliff, a deep breath, text my friend the address, stashed my protection away in my bag and walked to the door. Monica opened the door in a beige silk robe and immediately started to kiss me. She asked if I wanted anything to drink and I requested a baileys on the rocks. She wasn't up for much conversation, she stood in front of me, dropped her robe and exposed her perfectly sculpted body. We went upstairs to the bedroom and for the next few hours engaged in every type of lesbian sex imaginable! She was a hot one indeed! When she told me she couldn't cum anymore her boyfriend came over and kissed her and asked if she had one more in her. It was then that I excused myself and as I walked towards the bathroom, Monica's boyfriend said my money was on the table downstairs and I could let myself out. True to her word, I never heard from or saw Monica again. What was my hoe threshold that night?? $600...... So I ask, what's your hoe threshold?
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In the news: Jennifer Hudson, from a size 16 to a 6!

I am so proud of little momma. She has had a rollercoaster of a year. A great career, falling in love, having a baby to losing her loved ones in a tragic triple homicide. Now, please can Jenny Craig update there damn commercials? I'm just saying......the bitch dosent look like that anymore.

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Thursday, August 12, 2010

True Story: I think I'm a fucking Cougar.

Yeah, I said it!

I was having a conversation today with a good friend of mine. We both happen to be around the same age and came to the realization that our old asses are fucking cougars. I don’t purposely seek these young niggas out. I promise you I don't. It’s just something about them that catches my attention every time. What is it? Here is my theory: Women of today have become more comfortable with their sexuality. Our sex drive has increased and is at a level that our predecessors never experienced. Or they never had the opportunity to experience. Point blank, we like to fuck and enjoy doing it often. The problem is most older men have not yet caught up to the evolution of this new found freedom. Hence, there struggle to keep up. Now, if there is one thing we women know how to do, it is to survive under any circumstance. We are resilient. We know how to make something from nothing. We are moms, wives, daughters, mistresses, business owners. Ladies, we do it all and a damn good job at doing it. We quickly identified that men our age, whom we are actually attracted to just aren’t doing it. So, we shaved off a few years and decided to try out some younger blood. My friend today says to me. "No Nina, it’s not me. I'm not looking for them they just find me." Look bitch, I'm here to tell you that’s bull shit. You need to brush up on the section in the book "The Secret," where it talks about the "laws of attraction." Remember the older guy that fell in love on day 2? Has a stable career. Wanted to make you wifey and turn you into an honest woman? No, your fast ass wants the nigga fresh out the womb, still breast feeding. Here's my situation. I was fucking this guy for 9 years on and off. Sexy, tall, dark educated brother. When we first met he was a junior in college and we use to fuck each others brains out. It was nonstop. He lived a good 45 minutes from me but no matter what time of the day I called for some sex, he was there. We blessed every inch of my apartment and every inch of his dorm. It wasn’t a game people. We took this thing seriously. He kept up with me. He never complained, never asked for a break, never had erection problems and his shit was reliable. As soon as his bitch ass turned 30, everything went downhill. It hurts me to even talk about it. I feel like I lost a loved one to cancer. What the fuck???!!! I was/am so confused. How does that happen? I must say for the record, that not all of you young bloods know what you’re doing. Some of you need to get more practice, read a book, watch some movies. I don’t know, just figure the shit out. However, I want to give a personal shout out to my breast milk babies that have mastered the art of doing helicopters on a bitch pussy. I'm talking to the men (all backgrounds) that have taken the time to study and truly understand the physical needs of a mature woman. I dedicate this moment of silence to you…………………………………………………………………….

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Cyber Dating: Is it just legal prostitution?

When it comes to meeting men, I have to say I'm old fashioned. This whole cyber dating thing was something I truly scorned upon and thought it was only for losers. I was in a relationship for almost 8 years, so when I became single again it was like a moment of complete disbelief. I could not believe what the fuck was going on around me. I went into shock for a moment and staying close to the things I was use to for security. This made my ex's life very difficult because they were completely trapped and didn't have the opportunity or time to get over me. As I slowly strengthened my understanding of the evolved world of dating. I decided  to let a few folks in. This was a HUGE mistake. I was so not emotionally ready for that. Needless to say, it has been trial and error since then. One of the trials were me trying online dating. I'm still deciding on the error part.It was here I realized just how bold and confident the ugly mother fuckers of the world had gotten. It was also here where I realized why so many more women are licking pussy. Was it because I was being so impatient and expected to find me a man within 2-3 weeks or is it really just this damn bad? I really want to know from my readers. Whats your opinion on "cyber dating?" Is it just a legal  way for two people to meet, have sex and a good time? Can you really find your life mate on there?

In the news: Labia Licking Latifah...The Queen & her woman....

People, why are we behaving as though this is news??!!! On the count of 10 raise your hand if at any point in this womans career you truly believed she was "taking the dick." *in my Katt Williams voice* "Don't worry I'll wait."

In the news:The Fishburne Drama...... Daddy's Little Slut....

So apparently Montana Fishburne, Laurence Fishburne 19 year old daughter is starring in her own XXX movie. The little slut said she was "inspired by her idol, Kim Kardashian." Firstly, the Kardashian family better beef up security because Laurence has no fucking sense and I can foresee some shit popping off. It may just be a bitch slap, but they have had too much plastic surgery procedures in that family for any type of blunt force.  Something might pop, fall off, shrivel up......I'm just saying. Vivid Entertainment is apparently housing this flick and all of daddys rich friends came together and offered them a million bucks to renig.Unfortunately for them, (and maybe even for us if the shit is wack)it didn't work. The tapes were already "shipped out." I also read that "Chippy D" (her porn name) was arrested March of last year for prostitution but avoided jail by signing up for a work-alternative program. Little miss nasty girl says she "trying to further her career in Hollywood." Now, I'm confused by that statement. Bitch, your daddy is Laurence mother fucking Fishburne.How much more of a "hookup" do you need?

Monday, August 9, 2010

True Story: Does he deserve a second chance?

I've know this guy about 4 1/2 years. The attraction was intense from day one. We would flirt with each other mercilessly every chance we got and talk shit about the intentions we had for one anothers body parts. This man is so fucking sexy he could literally get me wet with a smile. Tall, dark skinned, nice body, athletic, bold legged; just the way I like my men. Minor complication, he has/had a girl that he lives/lived with full time. I don't give a fuck, that's his problem not mine. Anyway, my busy work schedule, his matrimonial obligations and distance, made it difficult to ever hook up. The shit talking never stopped though and we knew when that day came it would be explosive. His package looked right every time I saw him, increasing my level of anxiousness and  providing a perfect visual for  many of my masturbatory sessions. Fast forward, the day finally comes!!! I am so excited I cant stand myself!!! He pulls up to my house, jumps out his car, walks up to me smelling and looking so damn good. He grabs my waist and pulls me real close, softly kissing on my  lips, neck, cheeks and head. Then he whispers in my ears and says, "are you ready?" Am I ready??? Mother fucker are you serious???!! I'm about to jump this mans bones in my front yard I'm so damn ready. We go in the house and start kissing some more. His lips are so soft and he's a great kisser. The foreplay begins downstairs and I am just overjoyed at how passionate and attentive he is. We do this for about  20 minutes or so until he slips his fingers behind my panties and starts to softly touch on my Lady Flower. Its about all I can take, after all they call me "NinaNiagra" for a reason. I grab him by his shirt and pull him upstairs to my room. Upon entering, he bends me over on my dresser and starts sucking on my Lady Flower from the back..........Holy Shit!!! Can I tell you his head game was off the Fucking chain. I can safely say, hands down to date, he is the second best I've ever had. At this point, I got all kind of juices sliding down my thigh, my clit is so damn swollen its looking like a midgets penis. I am ready!!! I turn around, look at him and beg for him to fuck me. I couldn't help notice though that he was back there pretty busy, whacking his dick. Which on most occasions is cool, but at this point his shit should have been so hard that when I turned around it smacked me in my face......5 minutes later nothing.....10 minutes later nothing.....15 minutes later nothing. I am livid!!! By this time I move from the dresser and go sit my ass on the bed,staring at him. Negro, are you fucking serious??!!! All these years I was waiting for this???!!! Then he has the nerve to come and lay next to me to cuddle. Bitch!!! "Dude, save that cuddling shit for your girl. This visit had a specific purpose and right now your not delivering so you need to get the fuck outta my house." He thought I was joking, so I of course had to repeat myself. "Get the fuck out." Then, he starts yapping some bullshit about how he's not use to wearing condoms because he's in a relationship and they dont use any. Ok, so what about when you didnt have it on and you were beating the hell out of your dick for 20 minutes? What a waste! 
As with most men, he's a glutten for punishment and continued to call me. Apologizing for the disapointment and promising to do better the next time. Next time? He's even offered to get lamb skin condoms thinking it will help.
A second chance?? I thinks not....What do you think?

Poetic Justice:Precipitation....

On my bosom it rest, slowly inseminating my chest Baby u promised me it wouldn't make a mess....
I digress......
Knowing I would want nothing less, than to have your offspring sprinkled on my breast...
Or even my face..why let it go to waste, your a king so its my honor and duty to taste, its a recession so negative on me leaving a trace, even the saltiness I can assure you I intend to embrace.
I place no restrictions when it comes to pleasing you cause at the end of the day you my man and I'm your boo...

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Sunday, August 8, 2010

Poetic Justice: Fuck U and your complications....

I'm not complicated your just fucking boring..and this shit you talking right now got this bitch snoring...so let me give you a hint better yet a forewarning...if your chick come up missing its her pussy that I was touring...

Poetic Justice: Step 2 me correct or dont step to me at all........

Please understand I got bitches ready to camp out in this pussy on demand...So I know that you can eat it up but can you really beat it up...toss me around doing all kinda acrobatics...keep this pussy flowing like she's stuck on automatic...so drink your Guiness up before you approach me cause if your shit aint right laughing is what I'll be doing mostly.....

Why do we do it 2ourselves???

Its 3:25am and I'm laying here thinking about someone that has me completly confused. The funny thing is my subconcious is upset with the fact that I won't allow myself to accept the reality of the situation. Is this Karma from my days of dishing heartache to people that once cared for me? I continue to justify the fuckry I'm dealt knowing it makes no sense. What is it about him? Is it the challenge that's turning me on? I have no shortage of love or prospects in my life....If it was someone else I could advise the hell outta this situation. For now....I take a deep sigh and let time run its course....or maybe I just need to get laid.....LMAO......its been over 3 months you know. Well 3 months since I've been with man...;-)

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2days sexy shoe sightings..

Black Bitch...
Red Devil
Fat girl
Bow hoe....
Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile

Saturday, August 7, 2010

My introduction....

Good Evening World!!! It is me the one and only Nina Niagra. I think it is only proper that I formally introduce myself and set the precedence for my blog. If you are easily offended or shy when it comes to sex, vulgarity, foul language and a sick sense of humor. This is not for you. I keep it 100 at all times and makes no apologies for my ways. I will be taking you on a journey called "Mylife." It is filled with laughter, sadness,traveling,relationships,encounters, funny shit, sad shit, illegal shit, hot shit,good sex,great sex,bad sex, no sex, new sex, old sex.......well you get the point. I enjoy writing erotic poetry and get my inspiration from personal experiences. I am a huge Facebok fan and post quite frequently. My friends all agreed that I am one of a kind with the things I say and how I interpret day to day functions. They felt as though I was doing the world an injustice by limiting myself to just my FB family....So, here I am. New to the blog world but excited. Once I figure this shit out, I plan on having a "Dear Nina" link to answer as well as post questions on my specialty...sex and relationships. So get ready for the ride...its gonna be off the chain....
Welcome to "My Life: Raw,Real & All the way live."