Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Bisexuality: Truth or Transition?

I find myself tossed with this topic. As a "clinically categorized" bisexual woman myself,  I know it's possible to be attracted to both sexes as well as have relationships with them. However, at the end of the day even I have my preference.  The real question is does my preference become influenced by the pressures and expectations of society?  Is it possible that just as people are color blind when they are attracted to someone can one also be blind to their sex? Choosing sides came with a great level of responsibility for me.  I felt obligated to try and change the perception of African American lesbians in this country.  I was in an amazing relationship with a woman for almost nine years she was my best friend, partner, confidant, lover, a parent to my child, my life, my world and my everything.  We were the envy of "the community" as it was obvious to the outside world how much we loved each other and how close to perfection what we had was.  During these nine years I was immersed in the gay lifestyle and had little connection with the straight world.  I went to the clubs, did the pride walks, joined the committees at work and represented the rainbow to the fullest.  I was a proud "labia licker" and loved my family.  The last few years of that relationship became very painful for me, not because I didn't love my woman, quite the opposite, I was in love with her so much that it pained my heart to know that I couldn't give her the forever that I had promised.  I missed being with men terribly it caused me to step out of my relationship and I saw even more damage to come.  I love her too much to put her through that, she deserved better so I chose to end it.  I will forever have a special place in my heart and have closed shop when it comes to dating women. Now fucking them on the other hand will always be a welcoming adventure.  So does that make me bisexual? I truly believe that there are individuals who have no inhibitions when it comes to sexual pleasure and like most things in this country we are forced to categorize and label before we can make sense of something or accept it. 

 I leave you with this: Studies have shown that bisexuality is merely a transitional identity to a subsequent gay or lesbian identity.  So is bisexuality a place of purgatory for homosexuals???

I wonder.........

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