Sunday, August 15, 2010

The Romping Rules of a Threesome

One of the things I have aways said when it comes to 3somes is, always set the rules with your man and the bitch before it happens. Limit 1:1 interactions with your man and the third party. In other words, you keep her number and be the only one to communicate with her. Choose a neutral person, someone you are both ok with never seeing again. Don't let her feel comfortable with showing up at your house unannounced. If possible, leave that type of activity outside your matrimonial space. Treat it like your social security number. Keep your shit secure and limit its exposure. The more people that know about the arrangement, the more the third party feels a sense of entitlement and place in your lives. She has no place in your lives, just a small place in a moment. Lastly, no kissing on your man from the third party. Kissing is a very intimate transaction that should be shared with you and him only. I know this may sound biased but you and the bitch can kiss. Its more natural for women to share those sensual moments with each other and it not cross the emotional boundaries of the arrangement. She of course is more than welcomed to suck, lick and swallow every other part of your mans body. True story: Some associates of mine decided to participate in a 3some. We'll call then Jack, Jane and Jill. Jack and Jill were married for about five years before they eventually agreed to venture out. First mistake they made was choosing someone they both worked with. Jane and Jill became very friendly with each other. Having sleepovers,vacation, keys to each others homes and unlimited, unchaperoned and uncensored access to Jack. One day behind Jacks back and against there "rules" Jane and Jill slept together without Jack. Jack did a great job recruiting sponsors for his pity party and made Jane and Jill feel horribly guilty. Jill decided to be "fair" and allow Jack to sleep with Jane one time without her. Well, as I am sure you probably already figured out. That one time with permission, led to several more times w/out permission. How do you think this story ended? You sure you ready for this? Jack and Jane started dating, he moved in with her; divorced Jill, got engaged to Jane; Jill had a nervous breakdown; quit her job and is now strung out someplace in Miami.
 Lesson for today, don't trust a mother fucking soul.

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