An ex-coworker of mine brings an associate of hers to one of our South Beach all girls lunch dates. As this young lady approaches our table, I immediately notice the insecurities in her stance. Ladies, that shit is like dog feces on a shoe. You feel and smell it with every pace just as much as the people around you. When she sat down, my girlfriend introduces her as the new Mrs. X (no I’m not going to reveal the bitch real name) Knowing chica for a few years now, I realized that there was a little bit more to that introduction than the surface. So, I grab my blackberry waiting in anticipation for her text. It vibrates, I look down and the message says: “ask to see her wedding picture.” Not what I expected, but I figure let me roll with it because clearly she is going somewhere with this. I look at Mrs.X and I say: “Well congratulations hun, I am happy for you if you are happy for yourself. So where did you meet Mr. Right? What’s the fairytale story of how you met?” She says, O I met him in Jamaica on one of my trips with my girlfriends and it was like love at first sight.” The wheels in my brain started spinning as I tried to figure out what the catch was that my friend wanted me to pick up on. “That is so romantic, oh my goodness do you have any pictures?” Of course, she had several in her purse and hundreds on her phone. When I glanced at the first picture, immediately I knew what chica was getting at. All I could do was shake my head and think to myself, “another one bites the dust.” Before I bring you in on what’s going on, let me tell you a little bit about Mrs. X. She is 33 years old, a single mother of 5 kids and, well, how can I say this and not be offensive……..She is not in the least bit attractive.#justbeingreal She subscribes to all of the fashion dont's, is extremely overweight and does not know how to carry it well at all. ( I love a big girl that's confident and sexier than a mother fucker) She houses a body odor that I have yet been able to describe. She pays absolutely NO attention to the necessary manicuring and maintenance that women should pay attention to and a Pumice bar would be a long overdue addition to her daily routine. I am not superficial but lets be real, there are some things and some people we see on a daily basis and ask ourselves "why" and "what the fuck?" Well, she was all of the above. As far as her personality, I cant say I saw much of any but who am I to judge. Now, her "husband".........was a lighter version of Tyrese Beckford and by the gloss on his lips, the arch of his eyebrows and the bend in his wrist, I already knew what was going down. The nigga was FINE!!!!!! I am not a hater by any means but 1+1 is always 2 and if you plant an apple seed you will never get an orange. So, my probing began. "Wow, he is a good looking guy. How old is he and what does he do?" She replies: "He's 23 and in the hospitality business. We are trying to get a job at a one of the hotels in SOBE but we are just waiting on his fiance visa. He wants us to have a baby but says we need to be able to file for his mom so she can help us take care of the baby." Ladies and gentleman, this bitch has been got! If you don't see it, let me break it down for you. It is VERY common for young men in the islands, working in hospitality, to prey on tourists such as Mrs.X. In a glance you can tell this woman would be elated if a puppy pissed on her heel and nibbled on her kneecaps. She clearly would not be the top 1,000,000,000 pick in a crowd of people. A little conversation, he gets to know her triggers and acts like a complete gentleman. Last but not least, he drops the mandingo, island fuck on her ass and the bitch is stuck like chuck. Why? So he can get that all mighty Green Card!!!! It is the cheapest and easiest way for these men to come to this country. In most cases not only do these women fall for it and get married, they also support the niggas until or if they ever get a job. Some may endure what Stella did (Stell got her groove back) and find her a gay boy capable of fucking the pussy. Or if the guy is straight, he has a girlfriend that understands the reason for his sacrifice. Possibly even a family! Sometimes the guys mother may be the one grooming him, which is what it looks to be in the case of Mrs.X.
Ladies, the caliber of men you date will rarely change. If on a scale of one to ten you have been dating negative seven type men, that's just your mother fucking fate. You may find different variations of negative seven, but bottom line is he's still a negative seven. Personality can go a long way. It may get you across the street but it will not get you to Disney Land. Mrs.X has clearly made some bad decisions in her life when it comes to men. Five kids and four baby daddy's is sign number one. She doesn't take pride in her appearance or herself. Sadly, she obviously does not have any real friends in her circle to teach her differently. Or positive role models to lead by example.
I texted chica and told her she was fucked up to bring that girl to lunch so that she could humiliate her. She rebutted by saying she wanted me to talk to her because she just didn't know how to break the ice on a conversation like that. Bullshit but whatever. One thing I am not is fake, shy or afraid to speak my mind. I also have a sincere interest in helping people and while the truth may hurt, it is the best way to show that you are genuine. However, there is a time and a place for everything. Who was I to burst Mrs. X bubble. I felt really bad for her situation and knew that she had a ruff road ahead of her. I've said it before and I will say it again: "check the bitches you roll with and stay away from yes men/women."
As far as chica that brought Mrs. X to the luncheon, yeah I don't fuck with her anymore. #thatwasntcool
As far as chica that brought Mrs. X to the luncheon, yeah I don't fuck with her anymore. #thatwasntcool
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