Tuesday, June 28, 2011

To Whom it May Concern: My Pussy is an Equal Opportunity Lender



Ladies let’s talk about some real shit for a minute. Riddle me this bitches.  How many of you think it is a fair trade to be fucking a nigga and not expect anything else from him because he is “handling the pussy right?” Let me be more specific.  Jill is a single mom making ends meet.  She doesn’t really need for anything but assistance is always appreciated. She has been in and out of some pretty fucked up relationships over a period of 10 years and decides to chill out from that scene. Jill meets Jack. Jack is currently in a relationship with a woman that he claims is “rocky and not going well.” By the way, simple bitches that’s a part of the game. As far as Jacks woman is concerned they are doing just fine. Anyway, Jack and Jill are attracted to each other and after some time of innocent flirting decide to have sex. Jill is blown away by Jack’s bedroom skills and decides to make dude her official FB (fuck buddy). She figures, no harm in the situation because she is not looking to settle down with a man and he isn’t available to settle down.  Now, the whole fucking a man that is boo’d up doesn’t bother my conscious one bit especially if I have no attachments or moral obligations to his girl. That has everything to do with him and not a mother fucking thing to do with me. Here is where MY beef comes in. Jill doesn’t have any demands or prerequisites for her pussy because in her own words, he’s handling the pussy right. Well bitch would you be fucking with him if he wasn’t handling the pussy right?  That’s a rhetorical question because clearly the answer is “NO”!  So basically what you’re telling me is that you are ok with accepting the bare minimum for giving up your goods???  I can’t speak for you but I personally have that Mastercard pussy, its priceless.  Therefore any nigga that I fuck with needs to understand that me and my goodies expect world-class, above and beyond treatment since that’s what they are receiving.  In the old days they worked on the bartering system, you give something, you get something and most times they had to be equal in value.  Ladies I’m here to tell you no matter how wack your pussy is, dick will never equal or surpass it’s value.  I posed this question to a few of my girlfriends and one of them said to me I’m satisfied with him handling my pussy I don’t need a man to do anything for me, besides isn’t that prostitution?? After violently laughing in her face I paused and realized that I clearly needed to school this bitch on how the world turns.  Life is a prostitution ring!  The bible itself lets a wife know that her pussy is property of her husband and she is to give it to him willingly.  One of the reasons for this is because the husband is expected to provide for his wife.  Now bitch don’t tell me that’s not prostitution.  Why is that arrangement more socially acceptable???  Because of that little piece of paper called a marriage certificate.  In college when you do classes on interviewing for jobs what is one of the most common things you are told?? “Don’t forget you are selling yourself on the interview.  This is your time to show your potential employer what you have to offer.”  Sound familiar?? Now tell me that’s not prostitution.  You and your girls getting dolled up to go to the club, somebody in your crew will make this statement.  “ I need to make sure the girls are looking right so I can have some niggas buying me drinks tonight!”  Sound familiar?  Now tell me that’s not prostitution.  The sooner you realize that this world is all about the muthafucking WIIFM (what’s in it for me) the quicker you will go from being the doormat to the muthafucking shoes.   Ladies if you fucking a dude that requires you to drive 30-40 minutes to get to his house, it should not be unreasonable for you to EXPECT him to fill your tank.  So what you’re getting good dick, he’s getting good pussy and since the beginning of time we run the muthafucking world.  I’m not interested in hearing how independent you are and how you can do for yourself and how you don’t need a man to do for you.  One I get all of that and kudos to you and two if you are that muthafucking independent why can’t you fuck yourself.  Quite frankly, the money that you make for yourself is exactly that, money for yourself.  The money you get from him will never take away from that it will only add.  In any and all language as long as it’s not a debt, adding is always a good thing.  Your money has absolutely nothing to do with him or your situation.  We are not talking about a man having to support you or pay all of your bills, that doesn’t have to be the case all of the time, but especially in a situation like Jack and Jill and Jack is in a relationship and cannot provide much of anything to Jill outside of dick, in a situation like that Jack is winning.  Jill needs to even the playing field and have him understand that while you appreciate the good dick, you need more.   That more will vary from woman to woman.  That more for some women may mean paying for vacations.  That more for some women may mean paying a car note or putting money in her pocket from time to time.  This may also depend on the frequency of giving out the goodies.  If you are having sex with this man 2-3 times a week, you need to be on his muthafucking pay roll.   Stop feeling sorry for these niggas and never lose sight of who he is, a cheater.  Bottom line, step ya game up.  If you giving up the goodies any way show your pussy some respect, demand more, expect more.  If you’re currently in a situation like this and realize you are fucking up and allowed the nigga to feel like he’s the shit since he’s digging your back out, no worries it’s never too late to re finance.  Advise your lender that circumstances and situations have changed requiring you to revisit the original agreement.  He’ll do one of three things:  see the value in your property and accept the new offer, see the value in your property and have the smarts to counter offer or decide it’s not worth it and cut his losses.  At that point YOU can do one of two things: withdraw your investment or threaten to advise the FDIC (his woman) of his unlawful practices. Beyonce said it best, “We run this mutha!”  So bitches, act like it!!! This is Nina and I approve this message!

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