Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Prisoner of Love: Is it a life sentence?

Have you ever allowed yourself to fall so deep in love with someone that its almost impossible to move on emotionally, spiritually and physically without them. You build your world and everything that is important to you around this person, there existence and what makes them happy. So much so that you lose yourself. You lose who you are and your purpose in life. Completely oblivious to the person you've become in the process. Not realizing how much you've shut out the world and been sheltered in this "Love Bubble." It isn't until you step outside this bubble that you realize how long you were in there. A feeling that can possibly be understood by a prisoner locked up for 20 years before finally being released. He now faces a world of computers, cellphones, facebook, twitter etc. It's a feeling of excitement, anxiety, fear, confusion and depression. All wrapped up into one big ball of emotions. How does one face that? How does one endure that? How does one overcome that? We can find tons of books on how to fall in love, but is there anything really substantial on how to fall out of love? Do you stay away from them and handle it cold turkey or do you slowly ween yourself? Is it truly weening? Are you just trying to get as much of that person in your system as you can? Long enough until your next fix. That's what it feels like. It feels like being a drug addict. It gets to the point where you're in such need of that person you become physically ill without them. How can something that felt so good suddenly cause you so much grief? There's a saying, once bitten shame on you. Twice bitten shame on me. Does this mean you'll never allow yourself to love like that again? It's a daily struggle to fight those feelings of wanting to give up. However, it no longer becomes a choice. You find yourself not wanting to let anyone in but at the same time craving for companionship. No one "gets you" like they did. Do you give up and face the possibility of being alone?

Maybe, but its just so cold.

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